NOT THE NEWSPAPER • BIG CONTENT ENERGY

Not the Newspaper — Volume 1, Edition 7 — March 2026

Note: File is named "mar3" in the repo but the masthead is dated March 1, 2026.

Tempore veritas patebit aut vi ab invitis statu

Volume 1, Edition 7 — March 1, 2026

FUN WITH WORDS

Woo Woo

From Grok, a definition: "The go-to label for anything that feels too 'out there,' magical, or faith-based for hardcore skeptics, but it's subjective -- what's woo-woo to another person might be profoundly spiritual to another person."

Use it in a sentence Emily only considers woo woo ideas as a last resort. Emily went to the Spa sound bath. She thought it was woo-woo, but it was not nothing.

UNSOLICITED ADVICE

Don't take anything personally, even when it is.

Don't take things personally. Difficult to deploy, but important to remember. Even if it's not true, it's a good way to disconnect from ick.

\#2 From Apple every goddamned day. "Your volume is too loud." Good. I can't even buy a fucking ring tone without signing up for a trial for a music platform I don't want. Talk about product lock-in? Product stickiness? More like being taken hostage by people who don't value open systems or freedom.

You're user experience says a lot about your values as an American citizen.

Living in the future: A burden or a gift?

Your call.

With every software update.

FUN WITH BOOKS, MUSIC, & MEDIA

BOOKS

I am looking for a boyfriend because I want a new "book" to read.

Spandau Phoenix, Greg Iles. Ended up in the trash. A book I ripped in half after throwing it across the room. I got it at a free little library on a beach trip during the summer. I got through a few chapters. It was a thriller. I usually like those. Something about living in a house where the oven I had had been renamed with the FCC code Au5oV1tch. Did I read the room wrong or did someone read me wrong? Would you love me if I was a Nazi? No, and don't ask people that when they are "compromised with other business."

I avoided dark material or dystopian stuff for a while because it felt like real life was like that too and I wanted to feed my head with a better message. Who is feeding the future with bad storytelling and why? Who is feeding us? Is the muse just being a dick because we were dicks? Are we alone? Writing Pro-human and protopian fiction and non fiction is a good endeavor for those that really want to see the future unfold benevolently. Once you start seeing actual fictional plots from books and storytelling taking shape in reality, you smell that it's got a human hand or at least not a god-like hand.

I do think we (humans) are smart, but not god-level smart. I think he'd be a better storyteller. I am a believer and a skeptic. God welcomes inquiry and opinions and new information. What better way to delight him?

MOVIES

I put myself outside of my comfort zone twice this week with media I don't usually consume. I avoided negative sentiment, horror and zombie stuff, etc for a long time b/c I didn't want it in my brain but that totally backfired. Turns out you can turn off your social media. You can curate what you consume with precision, but the bad stuff will find you anyway.

I watched 28 Years Later: The Bone Template and Nuremberg Trials. Not content I normally consume or appreciate, but Ralph Fiennes...well, enough to get me off the fence about watching absolute garbage (the entire zombie film library). He is a stellar actor. I didn't think he'd do a zombie film without a very good plot. And I wasn't wrong. Social commentary about curing/solving and communicating with brain dead people. Amazing. He drugs them to get through to them. The first word the "Alpha" zombie says: Moon.

Fucking A right?

And Nuremberg trials. Personally offended at the screenwriter's lack of understanding of history and feelings around telling stories with important weight to them. At the end, the screenwriter put a bow on the story with a personal line about what happened to the psychiatrist (spoiler, he kills himself.)

That's the fucking ending. That's the fucking ending that the screenwriter chose.

Writing, no matter the story you're telling, fucking matters. Do it wrong, and you say a lot with the things you did not say at all. Do it at the wrong time, and you say things you shouldn't have said at all.

Text on the screen at the end to make it feel like somehow the guy asking questions (the psychiatrist) was the failure and not the people (the actual fucking nazis) who completely disavowed their humanity in pursuit of extermination of part of the human species was somehow the true failure. and the lesson to take away. Much like the alien movie with whatsher name. one bad experience and the simulation gets turned off. what fucking bullshit. Bad storytelling dot com.

Very bad writers dot com who do not understand that the last word is an impression and a sentence to convey the thesis of the entire movie.

Some people shouldn't be writers or coders. ME. i shouldn't have to hard code this because modern web interfaces are such complete and utter shit.

MUSIC

Panama - the sound and feeling of being on the front of a boat riding over the waves on vacation to go snorkeling with one's family.

This morning I almost wanted/was able to get out of bed with the gusto I used to arise with every morning and this song was in my brain. It reminds me of being on a cateraman and riding over the waves at the front of the boat. Fucking great memory.

I love music. I love poetry. I love writing too.

I love saying what I want, at the right time in the right place. I love going back the next day and having new thoughts to replace the things I wrote. I love learning. I kind of don't understand what happened to our culture and why you are no longer allowed to change your mind or have new thoughts or be human and this was before AI was big.

BAD AT JOKES

REVISIT !!

At the spa, someone said that some therapies are advanced, like the sound bath was advanced, it was too advanced for them and I said well, I have advanced anxiety. It was fun to be in a room full of women and also of strangers in a safe place that is meant for us to just actually RELAX and feel free and good to be ourselves. What a wonderful gift from the past. A thing my wonderful sister got for me and my mom and her over two years ago. A thing we finally did together. Reminded me off all the times we spent together when dad was deployed on missions. It was always just us three. Like, almost always. Growing up without your dad around is not something a lot of people in military families talk about. The casher at the store reminded me because she saw the USAA card, was about to thank ME for my service, and I said, no, my dad. And she said, me too. She also said that the women and children who live without their family should be thanked for their sacrifice too. I agree.

i think it's prolly too soon about jokes about hte aylootolah or however u spell it, but my docs are missing with my writing about it? wy? vierd. what's another topic. probably weird conspiracy theories and woo woo. ok ok ...

what's the funniest fucking thing you ever heard, read, or said, or experienced?

I think it must be in my future.

[Untitled main feature]

The Handbook for the Recently Diagnosed Schizo, or "A New Communication Protocol and How it Feels Without a Primer."

I sat at the firepit tonight and turned and saw a cloud covering the moon in the shape of a Y. It hovered over it briefly. Long enough for me to add it to my "well, that was interesting" list. One of many things I never write about it. All of it together sounds bananas. I wrote in my personal journal a long time ago to press Y to join my game. I should have written "ask why" to join my game.

I've heard things like "You have no idea what is going on," and while that may be 1000% percent true, I know what I experienced up to this point.

Of course I do not. I know nothing. I know what I lived or experienced or spent time learning and that is all.

Suffice to say, I imagine the way I feel would be the way a lot of people would feel if they were to experience always on 24/7 communications without a primer or any type of communication about what it is or what it's for.

I am of sane mind and body and I am about to write about some put on your tin foil hat stuff. But more like, what would you think or do if it happened to you?

For me, a librarian and a writer, everything is just content. and discovery. And things to catalog or think about or write about.

The bad and the good. And all the weird stuff in between.

I have been hearing not voices, but an overlay on top of existing sound since August of last year, so 7+ months now. It's amplified by very large machine noises and impossible to ignore. I have to put headphones on to get any sort of focus because they never shut the fuck up.

I thought it was a military application perhaps and maybe it is, but now I think, well maybe it's a new communication channel. That you are? or are not? supposed to write about? That's the moral question for me. The reason why I didn't want to say anything. It could be very useful for a lot of military applications, but it's more broad use is for civilian use, not for special operations.

And nobody told me I wasn't allowed to write about it.

And no one listens to me anyway.

And if they didn't want me to write about it, they'd find a way to stop me. Just thinking out loud my logical thought about it.

No one is allowed to say these types of things out loud, because it's too bananas and too far out for them to even imagine, let alone experience.

You'd lose all credibility and someone would photo shop a tin foil hat on your noggin. Don't worry, I already tried to block it with tin foil. It does not work.

A good scientist and writer does not care about looking foolish.

Exhaust all possibilities until you arrive at a slimmer set of data to deconstruct.

You have to keep it in the realm of science fiction for it to make sense or be "believable" to others. Why? So much is already possible. NOW.

It's not that I don't care anymore about optics, it's that I want to SHARE what I experienced with others because of the implications it has for broader society.

Imagine talking to someone without saying a word. That is what I wrote in 2021 about how I would connect with my husband at the time. We could speak without talking. Not literally, but you know what I mean.

But that is NOT what I mean here. I literally mean speaking without talking.

Maybe because I already wrote about it before, maybe that's why me.

I've been treating it as if it were a battle or thing to overcome because no one explained anything to me. I WAS and felt assaulted psychologically.

Constantly under pressure just to act normal and continue to live. Fighting for every day just to stay here.

But this overcoming the "bad guy" thing - that's not the most interesting story. And it's lazy storytelling and it's boring!!

There's nothing outside of current existing technology to prohibit the idea that you could talk to people through an intermediary layer of sound through electronic devices or sound/vibrations that are not being deployed for harm but for comms only.

You'd have to keep the sentences short to avoid the message become lossy. Probably 5-7 words max initially. There's a repeater. But that could also just be interference.

Oh, and you're on a zoom call you can't hang up from ever and you hear your own internal monologue too.

What you believe or don't is irrelevant.

Either aliens are here or we are the aliens and there's new tech for comms.

Or ?

I welcome inquiry.

SOMETHING BEAUTIFUL

TBD IMAGE

WORKOUT & HEALTH

My triceps are blasted and achy. Feels awful. I did five or six chin ups. That's why. Not in a row, but I'll get there.

I need to lift heavier, like a lot heavier. My sleep is fucked lately. My diet is trash (to me). I ate a pizza this week. Like, an entire pizza. It was glorious. But my workouts have been good.

Like there's a switch in my brain that goes into hyper focus mode. I used to have that for work and for other things.

I worked out a bit this week during meetings because they were really long meetings. I hate sitting still for 3 hours on a zoom call. It's a terrible experience. I know that information needs to be shared at a company, but there are better ways to do it. I don't think working from home is good for you in the long run. I've been doing it for a decade. I would know. Yes, I get paid a lot for very minimal effort, but I don't know how to not sound like a broken record on this. tldr happy to be employed unhappy with the level of overall performance and communication, unhappy with the risk aversion, unhappy with being told to act human and then getting punished for being too much of myself. Don't like not being the boss of the content team and putting out mediocre stuff. constant battle, not enough room or freedom to do anything worth while, humiliating and insulting to my intelligence. unstimulating cognitively. Happy and excited to have a low profile role to focus cognitively on other things, so not disappointed.

Sound Bath

I went to a spa with my family this weekend. I didn't think I'd like it. I did not relax at all. It was a salt cave and sound bath. Warm blanket. Eye mask. Chill vibes. My mom said she couldn't chill either. I think it was the audio that did it for me. Very uncomfortable to sit with some of the frequencies. Definitely not woo woo, but also, full of woo woo at the same time.

It was a terrifying experience to relax in a situation that is designed to take all your senses from you. That is your brain telling you that this is not okay and I do not accept serenity. I accept reality.

I will have peace when I am dead. Until then, discomfort and sometimes pleasure, but never serenity.

But silencing negative energies through vibrations and sounds? Doesn't sound too woo woo to me anymore.

Sunday Workout:

Not being able to wake up in the morning

Sleep and wake up schedule is very out of whack. Very difficult to get up in the morning unless I immediately listen to music or other sounds. That's not normal. Some kind of other thing is draining me. I'm oversleeping and that's not healthy or good. Sleep anxiety at bedtime because of ... and better when I leave the house and go do something else, listen to music, make my own noise, etc.

Definitely tied to physical environment and related to "house noise" or you know, aliens. This morning I almost wanted/was able to get out of bed and the song "Panama" was in my brain. This song is about a CAR.

It reminds me of being on a cateraman and riding over the waves at the front of the boat. Fucking great memory.

I need someone to wake me up with a bucket of ice water in the morning. That is how bad it is.

AFFIRMATION OF THE WEEK

These are not the files you are looking for...

"I am the file. I AM the book."

Delete all the records you want. I got a copy somewhere.

Lots of copies keep stuff safe. LOCKSS. LOCK SS. Get it? bad jokes dot com

My old archivist boss was named Robert Lay, and there is an infamous nazi war criminal with the name Robert Ley. Lay, not ley, told me good luck making more than 50k a year with an MLIS (masters in library and information studies). I did not know a famous nazi war criminal shared his name. Wild. Ley though, not Lay like the potato chips.

IRONY.. yeah ok

How common is it to also work with Johnny Depp, a student of history, at GameStop? How common is it to meet a Will Smith, a lawyer who threatened me, at the mental institution who was also African American?

My life is silly. People's names are silly too. The world is smol. Not me. I am entertained. Not just at words and their meanings and language and linguistics, but coincidences and storytelling in general. And I like the alphabet a lot too and codes. and secret codes and making shit up for fun. But not when it comes to writing. I like non-fiction.

WORDS, WORDS, WORDS

The test drive and the test.

I took a test drive and a model Y when I saw when I was with my back against the sun, slowing down for a stop sign. The glare came through the glass and made a cross on the digital display and it was a rainbow cross and it was really beautiful and amazing and I only wouldve seen it if I had been there at that moment at that time because my drive got delayed.

But yeah, God said hello with a rainbow during my test drive, so kind of everything else doesnt really matter does it?

When I parked the car because I did self driving a family approached the vehicle and started walking around the vehicle while I was in the car. It upset me a lot. I asked if they wanted me to move, if I was in their spot, but they circled the car. To other people it would mean nothing. To me, it felt intimidating and scary. They were looking at the vehicle, not at me. But I have big anxiety around strangers unless they are friendly. There were not normal smiles or things to make me feel at ease, just some people circling the vehicle while I was in it. It, I think, was meant to be a test to make me look bad because it was a muslim family. People always want you to blame someone's ethnicity so they can pick at your "preconceived bias". OFC. But like, don't circle the vehicle while I"m in it. I'm a single woman on my own and I trust absolutely no one. Fuck off. Look at the other models on the lot.

My rough thoughts about it: Why were they walking around the one that I just pulled up in? It made me very uncomfortable. I didnt know how to lock the doors quickly cause I couldnt remember the controls cause its been a while since I was in a Tesla and I think when I rented the model S last, it took me a while to learn the controls too so like I was getting re-oriented its like driving a computer.

You have to figure out where everything is and these people were walking up to my car and I didnt know where the button was to like lock the doors they made me feel super unsafe I didnt panic, but Im just tired of being in these situations where I get put in an uncomfortable situation or Im not able to put myself in a safer situation like if the car couldve just lock the doors for me when it realize that I was getting anxious that wouldve been nice.

People have no idea how fucking difficult is for me to do anything to even fucking be here. Or the mental resilience I've had to build to be able to be in the world again. I have gotten help, and without out, I wouldn't be here.

I am proud of myself for staying calm under pressure, even if I had assistance. I am thankful for the assistance. I am grateful to get another chance to be here, to be in my family's lives, to get to say and write whatever it on my mind no matter how batshit crazy it sounds and to just spend another day in the sun with the human tribe.