Curation, Creation, and Making Something Beautiful from Something Painful
This is a small sample of art from the past few years. They serve as personal prompts of time and place for my critical thinking about art, memory, and what I value beyond what should be painfully obvious (appreciation for family, human connection, love, doing good in the world, etc.) These days, it feels like you have to be a little too specific to even speak or write anything.
If you come to the table with questions, not comments, good.
I tried to keep my selections to the realm of art as message. I think I probably have a zillion questions about each picture myself.
The most beautiful part of this is that each thing serves as an access point to memory when I was put in a situation that forced me to question my own memory, gaslit beyond belief by people around me, and was still somehow able to keep enough pieces to remind myself that I built while others were trying to destroy. I stayed true to myself, while my personal character was assaulted from every angle and I was put in difficult situations meant to make me look bad because I told the truth.
Carousel 1: Context
accidental-ai-writing
My home fitness TRX for body weight training at home. I put it up out of the way while cleaning the house. Noticed it resembles the letters, "AI" - a topic that is on a lot of people's minds and mine included.
boston-2015-exploration-of-search-information-retrieval-knowledge-seeking-technological-systems-dry-erase-on-wall
Working on knowledge bases, taxonomies, metadata for digital collections for clients but also thinking about larger information architecture of the internet and how people get answers. Processing information in real-time environments/non-digital interfaces yields different results.
coffee-plant-reminder-record-archivist-magnets-stickers
Topping my safe, the coffee that got poured into the sink turned into a beautiful planter. An American Flag as the cape on the safe. Stuck a feather pen in the cape. The pen from a hospital visit, turned into a purpose, "Make Record." Ransom Notes Board Game Word Magnets added to increase the context and meaning to the stickers stuck to the safe. "Make record." "Find Your y" "Celebrating inquiry" "Pour myself a cup of hope." "American Patriots Forge" "Evolve Club"
eyes-closed-washington-dc-photography
A visit with a friend to museums in Washington D.C. American flag scarf? on the lady in the back left. The words "I Love You" in hot pink. Wearing my Urban Axes Phoenix hooded sweatshirt. Urban Axes in Phoenix, Arizona got shut down.
games-with-joker-as-bonus-or-trump-cards-family-game-night
I used to collect card decks. This is from one of my favorite decks that has the American Presidents. I enjoy playing modded variations of card games where Joker serves as either a bonus or extra trump card (Example: Spades).
glow-forge-wood-cuts-experimenting
I like making stuff. Purchased a GlowForge laser printer instead of a hot tub once we were financially fit for extraneous spending. Rather build than bask.
glow-forge-wood-cuts-experimenting
Magnets I made with the glowforge. Personal message to myself to turn the other cheek and keep building/making.
grocery-list-hand-written-note-to-self-photography
Making jokes is important too. You can't get everything at the store.
lego-art-decor-home-family-building
My family loves building too. Big into legos. Instead of buying a home sweet home sign, made this for home decor.
love-for-history-and-archives-statue-washington-dc
Reminder that record keeping is important, and it's difficult for other people to edit things carved into stone. They have to straight up get it removed and that is difficult and requires heavy machinery.
magnet-words-forget-what-happened-bad-message-from-abuser
Nothing against Emerson, but this in my face, when my records, internet connectivity, and livelihood were actively being destroyed by hacking, external parties, was too much to sit with.
magnetic-sticker
A message I wrote on my phone to help myself remember why this was worth picking a fight over.
modded-without-permission
A map. More notes another time.
my-name-in-light-1
I spelled my name in LEDs on my wall to add some visual flair.
my-name-in-light-copper-1
I spelled my name in copper wireon my wall to add some visual flair.
neil-young-free-world-lyric-art-physical-wood-yard
A piece I made with an old pallet, some neil young lyrics, and letters I cut on the Glowforge laser printer.
neil-young-song-lyric-wood-art-glowforge-created-lettering-hand-spray-painted
Red, White, and Blue all hand spray-painted. Up close view.
oklahoma-antiquing-welcome
Wearing my black leather jacket somewhere near Altus, Oklahoma, antiquing with my family. Nice find. I've always wanted to make stuff with metal/learn metal smithing besides just the introductory course I took.
pixel-hidden-journal-inside-of-image-code-backup-copy
When my digital assets started getting modified and deleted, I started to hide my journal entries inside of images. Sorry no easter eggs in this batch, but you're welcome to look. If there are any, I didn't put them there.
You can paste information/inject words into images and then also manipulate the digital image. A way to hide information inside of other information. Something I learned about digital assets and file modifications that I find interesting.
political-message-hope-poorly-hand-painted
Don't kill what you hate, save what you love. A good message.
reminder-to-self-poster-post-
A poster with the words "I want to be free." I made when I was going through a difficult separation and also trying to figure out how to actually exercise my freedom when I was being attacked relentlessly.
Reminder-to-self
Changed the poster words to "I AM FREE." with red ink.
Carousel 2: Context
cupid-psyche-post-fire-1
I believe that you should make and build. But I also believe that there is beauty in many places, even in ugly, destructive things things. I set something I loved on fire because my ex picked a fight with me about it, about who would get which piece of art when we divided our art collection. We didn't argue about any possessions. I made it into something that couldn't be argued about.
cupid-psyche-post-fire-2
I wept while it burned.
cupid-and-psyche
This was the first piece of "real" not store-bought art I ever purchased. I made the decision to purchase it after a dinner where there was an art show.
psyche-cupid-2
It is pictured in the gallery before purchase. I wanted to buy his entire collection. They are uniquely made. He takes a digital image and projects it onto the canvas and hand paints each pixel.
psyche-cupid-close-3
Detailed view of what people often remarked as "The Angel" upon viewing.
psyche-cupid-close-up-3
Looks abstract up close, is a different picture when you zoom out.
psyche-cupid-pre-fire-also-message
It is large format, maybe 9 feet tall.
Carousel 3: Context
crystal-bridges-unknown-date-arkansas-selfie
Going to the museum to view art, but also to create it. I like interactive exhibits like this.
cupid-psyche-and-army-painting-circa-2012-norman-oklahoma
My two favorite paintings from the collection.
harry-potter-quidditch-mirror-selfie-photography
I used to collect antique owls, wear lipstick, and have always enjoyed modifying items in my home like the mirror, which I spray painted gold.
i-am-the-fire-self-portrait-army-painting-photography-digital-manipulation-mixed-media-2
Exploring barriers of thought, playing with digital art and double exposures is also something I enjoy.
i-am-the-fire-self-portrait-army-painting-photography-digital-manipulation-mixed-media-3
I have a voice. I am using it.
i-am-the-fire-self-portrait-army-painting-photography-digital-manipulation-mixed-media
New meaning to "I am the fire." To keep going even when there are many obstacles and much feedback on my own thinking, work, and purpose in this world from outside parties who do not come with questions, only comments.
mirror-selfie-2011-oklahoma-city
Exploring my own thinking about the world and trying to update my world model as new information comes to light.
mirror-selfie-photograph-light-oklahoma-city-circa-2007or2008
The vanity mirror of my late grandmother Emojane. Self portrait for photography course.
personal-ephemera-hiking-paddleboarding-backpack-clean-out-photography-still-image
Too much doing and not enough cleaning. Rotten cutie in my pack. Bubblegum. Sunscreen. Trash. The same pair of shoes I kept buying and wore for 5+ years in different colors.
photography-in-the-library
I tried to wear jewelry. It is not for me.
selfie-by-the-fire-photography
Favorite past-time.
selfie-photograph-on-rug
...
trying-to-understand-everything
Grok image, but I asked to make it a female. I am also trying to understand.
vulcan-salute-automated-selfie-garage-gym-circa-2021-2022
The Samsung phone I had would trigger a timer and photograph capture if I held my hand up. The feature recognition did not distinguish between a Vulcan salute or five fingers / wave signal.
vulcan-salute-samsung-photo-command-selfie-ai-automation
The feature absolutely delighted me.
Carousel 4: Context
architecture-paris-arc-de-triumph
Anniversary trip with my ex, photograph of the Arc de Triomphe. I think sculpture is beautiful. I can't imagine how much talent it takes to create something like that.
dollar-store-grave-tombstone-light-art-installation-bedroom
In my little historic farm house, there is so much fun light! But in one room, there is an old window that was closed off when they added a new section to the building. I often think about how the open window also faces the closed window in stark contrast. It is a useful and symbolic way to think about open and closed systems, something I care very deeply about. The flowers are poked into tiny holes I drilled. There are clouds of silver glitter that are raining at the top (probably not visible in the photograph.) It looks oddly like a tombstone when lit from underneath.
medusa-garden-sculpture-art-collection-2
In the art collection was a commissioned piece of Medusa's head which my partner at the time paid for over time in monthly installments. I think it is fascinating when men are enamored with mythology about the evils of women. In the picture, there is a fallen oak tree where we used to harvest Chicken of the Woods mushrooms from when we lived there. I spray painted the dead wood to add some color to the garden.
Medusa-garden-sculpture-art-collection
Front view of the Medusa sculpture. Next to the creeping jenny "waterfall" garden I started and the cut in half coffin garden bed (the one my dad built for me), topped with an old shower door for a mini greenhouse.
political-message-covid-and-recreational-drug-message-2
During the period of separation, I set not only a bra on fire, but also my face nappy/covid mask. They discontinued my favorite sugar-free bubbly drinks both AHA and Bubly. Cardboard is useful for starting a quick fire. The recreational drug comment is in the next picture.
political-message-covid-and-recreational-drug-message
The lighter I used to start the fire. Purchased on my trip to Boulder and Denver Colorado in 2021. A terrible trip, riff with encounters meant to terrify me from travel. Sleep deprivation, hallucination, and bad vibes.
political-message-covid-era-circa-2021-2
I hung the American flag upside down, which is a sign of distress. I didn't know what was going on, just that all my devices were being manipulated/hacked and people were still wearing masks everywhere and it just felt like I was in a nightmare.
political-message-covid-era-circa-2021
Polaroid image of the distress signal. Magnetic sticker on the back that read, "For John." Is about freedom of speech and a small town newspaper about a military veteran who wouldn't take his upside down flag down because Barack O'Bama was the president.
Carousel 5: Context
art-auction-painting-by-stark-toy-museum-from-movie-blazing-saddles
A painting of a black cowboy from the film Blazing Saddles. My partner at the time won this at an art auction raffle. Commentary on freedom of speech in media.
art-with-sophia-on-the-porch-circa-2011-oklahoma-city-brain-scan
I teach my children to enjoy art, even if it's just finger paints. We made art on the front porch, and folded the paper to make abstract images. This one looks like a brain scan. When I went to request my MRI records from 2021 hospitalization, they were absent from my records. I was blocked from retrieving them because I didn't fill out the separate special form to get THOSE records.
farm-barbed-wire-fence-found-object-mixed-media-painting-1
Found object on farm/house property turned into something beautiful. Probably commentary on trusting anyone ever again after betrayal. Maybe not.
farm-barbed-wire-fence-found-object-mixed-media-painting-2
Wider view of barbed wire heart. Spray paint, marker, glitter. Marked by blood/DNA for verification.
message-of-hope-circa-2021-2022
My birds of paradise plant that kept getting knocked over even though it wasn't windy outside next to the Don't Kill What You Hate, Save What You Love sign.
my-name-in-light-copper-2
Incorrect filename. Triangles/Broken Glass painting. Appreciation for geometry, even when imperfect.
paint-on-bedsheet-canvas-double-exclaim-hello-
Pink sheet/pink bed slip old and unused repurposed as canvas when the canvas roll ran out. !! forms part of the "H" in the Hello. Glitter, acrylic paint. Remark on exclaiming in copywriting. Do not overuse basically, unless it is absurd NOT to!!
paint-on-bedsheet-canvas-double-exclaim-hello-x-twitter
Closer view of the x/twitter !! commentary. For emphasis.
painting-mixed-media-garden-
Precursor to newer closed window tombstone piece. Fake flowers, glitter, pretty/colorful garden for beauty's sake.
personal-art-collection-destroyed-by-ex-during-verbal-disagreement
A watercolor and drawing piece I purchased at Brass Bell Studios at an art show in Oklahoma City. Destroyed/ripped during a verbal disagreement by ex-partner.
Carousel 6: Context
art-sample-circa-covid-era-2021
Digital collage of my digital art and photographs for a header for a blockchain social media platform called DESO.
brazil-street-art-2015-dublin-core-metadata-conference-visit
Trip with my mother to Sao Paulo, Brazil in 2015. Appreciation of street art.
gum-wrapper-oragami-photograph
Gum wrapper oragami in the shape of a rocket.
morning-glory-garden-digital-adaptation
Digital edit of still photograph of morning glory from my garden.
the-dazzler-comic-book-inspo-antique-store-find
Cover art I liked from an old dazzler comic book I found while antiquing. Reproduced the piece and framed for home decor.
tick-borne-illness-exploration-digital-manipulation-mixed-media-from-hand-drawn-sketch-1
Sick tick, series of NFTs/digital art. Gaslit into believing there was something medically wrong with me after hospitalization in 2021 (Rocky Mountain Spotted Fever). Medical notes mention domestic abuse situation but it, as a factor at all, is casually edited away as more and more doctors interview me over the days I am there. Mentions of domestic abuse and argument are mostly absent by the end of the diagnostic. Bipolar/Schizophrenic diagnostic is introduced, despite no evidence in family record/lineage being present.
tick-borne-illness-exploration-digital-manipulation-mixed-media-from-hand-drawn-sketch-2
A commentary on manipulation, and who controls the story.
triangles-light-exploration-photograph-full-concept-is-video
Taking things apart, but not always understanding how they fit back together. Still from an audio/video/visual experiment with flashlights and music.
wet-plate-colloadian-amsterdam-circa-2017-2018
A photograph on glass, fixing.
winner-taco-1st-meal-after-giving-birth-to-my-son
The best memory, the best meme. After labor, immense happiness to meet my son who was just born. Then I had a choco taco, or winner taco, as a past colleague said they are called in the netherlands.
Carousel 7: Context
All images are from a current build I am doing. Gold spray painted lamp, Blue bynder logo in wood (paperclip turned into a heart) I made with my glowforge and sent to all my collegues during one of the COVID christmases spray painted gold. An 8x10 picture frame glass spray painted gold and broken with the hammer I engraved into pieces to make a mosiac on the lamp. Probably a commentary on broken lamps.
Carousel 8: Context
derek-hess-inspired-hand-sketch
A hand drawing I made with sharpie/black marker by tracing my hand and keeping things linear. Inspired by a derek hess piece from the art collection.
derek-hess-inspo
Derek Hess original piece from the art collection. Also inspired some of my other pieces not pictured in this article (vampira blood work)
hand-drawing-attention-eyes-deso-period
Just a rough color sketch thinking about attention, social media, and stuff like that.
pen-art-on-instruction-manual-joke
When my apps don't work, I make fun of them.
picture-I-drew-after-he-destroyed-our-framed-family-photo
After an abusive encounter where a family photograph was shattered and a sandwich was thrown at me, I drew a stick figure family to fill the hole in the wall where the picture was. I kept trying to fix things I didn't break. The truth was too embarrassing, and no one believed me anyway.